So bored

Trying.
Now...
Trying.
Hiding,
So boring.
No more,
Trying.
Now hiding.
So bored.

Bliss

Touching to be touched,
An inquiry into you,
Show me what you are.

Intimacy

To be close to you,
As the sky is to the grass,
Joy overflowing.

Depth

Digging deep into the earth,
There we will meet,
To share in life's magic.

Realizations

A strong guiding light,
Through cavernous passages,
Reveals much that's true.

To not be lonely

A lone flower blooms,
Revealing its unity,
Roots deep in the earth.

Mists

From afar the mists are rising,
Beckoning me,
Into the unknown.

Stuart Davis - Nothing in Between

Weathering the Stars

The Star is a sign of hope and good fortune. With a little faith we can overcome the most difficult of obstacles and see ourselves to the other side, bathed in the light of our accomplishments. As the heavens turn, so do our lives. And even while events may leave us confused and uncertain, the challenges we face have more to them than meets the eye. If we can take the perspective of the distant stars, looking out over the expanse of life and the bigger picture, we will most certainly find ourselves filled with hope, a bit amused by the needless worry and drama of human life.

For all the radical change occurring for me these days, I am continually humbled by the people I work with, who deal with issues much greater than my own. I've never suffered physical abuse, never been truly homeless in the sense of living on the streets, and I've never been without food or water for all too long. In comparison to millions of people in the world, I'm rich. So who am I to complain about the hardships of life?

I've wavered between wanting to be incredibly wealthy for my own pleasure, to rejecting money altogether. But life has come full circle and I'm back to wanting my fortune, if only to give it away and help to build something that will empower people to live full and healthy lives. What's the point of having money for money's sake anyway? It's useless if not being spent or changing hands. And what better and more pleasurable way to spend it, than to increase the quality of life of the most people possible?

What would you do with a billion dollars? Or even a mere million? I quiver with excitement when I consider the strides that could be taken in sustainability with this kind of contribution, the communities that could be built to educate, inspire, and heal. The money is there, but the mentality of fear and lack keeps people in a state of distrust, in which they cling to what cannot ultimately be controlled.

As I move through this time of transition, I'm beginning to understand the flow necessary to make things happen in the world. The act of hanging on will block movement, like a damn in a river, and stifle the birth of a potentially rich idea or path. So even though life has felt a little unstable, with house sitting and now moving into work and living with the interns for a short while, while I look for a more permanent abode, I can step back and see that life is actually pretty good. I'm not paying rent, I'll have a shorter commute to work, and I'm developing a deeper sense of hope and trust in the course that life takes. I thank my lucky stars.

The Execution

On Sunday I would die. But a few days remained for me to prove my innocence. I was innocent. I hadn't killed anyone but unfortunately no one could affirm my whereabouts the night of the murder. Someone had set me up but it didn't matter who. What mattered now was how I would prepare for my execution. They would sit me at the base of a tree, blindfolded, and shoot me in the head. What does a piece of steal feel like when it penetrates the skull? I tried to feel the stinging, the suffocation caused by choking on my own blood, so that the actual event would be more bearable. Gripped by these thoughts, I asked one of the officers in charge of watching over me, if being shot in the head was a quick death. Her reply was not altogether reassuring. While some went quickly, others died slowly. Without any answers, my mind drifted from one question to the next - how would my parents cope with the loss of their daughter? Would I take another incarnation? Had I completed all that I wished to see accomplished in this lifetime? I felt myself crossing over to the other side even before my execution, but a bit of hope lingered within me, that the next few days could bring a miracle. Would the universe save me, or was I fated to die?